Motels, Saunas and other “Traveler Bewares”

And you thought you knew your native language!

Image by Jeep Novak! via Flickr

There are plenty of surprises to be discovered on the road, and one that can have funny (or downright weird) consequences is when we discover that the language we grew up with doesn’t quite work the same way in another region or culture.

Take a motel, for example—a “motor hotel” along the highway…A no-frills and inexpensive place to sleep and get back on the road to your real destination the next day—right?
Well, could be… unless you’re in Chile…

Cachando Chile: a Year in Review

Writing the landmark 100th post is a bit of a daunting task. I had intended to post this on December 1, which I had declared Cachando Chile’s 1-year blogiversary, but with all the hoopla over the Alienating Chileans post (which hit and passed the 100 comments mark that day), followed by an enormous amount of real-life events—you know the kind—all those things that get in the way of blogging, but that end up becoming “blog fodder*’ anyway. (*Eileen gets credit for coining this extremely apropos term).

In honor of this landmark, I wanted to look back over my first year of blogging. A lot of territory has been covered here (take a look at the Category list on the right hand side of the page), and I’ve gone through the past 99 posts and selected a few that I think merit another go-round. Some have been reader favorites, some have been particularly fun, other controversial, and others just plain favorites of mine. There are plenty more… but alas I can’t choose them all!

Those of you who have been reading for a while will recognize most of them. Others who are newer to Cachando Chile probably missed some of the earlier bits…

I’d love to know your opinions! Please feel free to leave comments on the individual posts or on the overall concept here. Let me know if you have a favorite I’ve overlooked or if there’s a topic you’d like more of in the future.

General Reflections on Life in Chile

The whole blog is about reflecting on life in Chile, but some of the posts hit it more on the head than others…and there are some that I particularly like and think deserve a bit more attention:

The Dance Card’s Full : This is something of a general overview of Chilean culture and my take on why it sometimes seems so difficult to become close friends with Chileans.

I was a Peruvian Dish Towel Smuggler: My unwitting and involuntary foray into an international smuggling incident and illegal alien operation.

SAG and the No-Spice for Chile Campaign: Chile is an island. You may not realize it by looking at a map of South America, but its natural borders make it particularly vulnerable to certain agricultural risks… much to the chagrin and dismay of foodies with a taste for big international flavors.

The Calendar Trap: After nearly 2 decades of hearing it, you would think that I should have learned by now that when a Chilean says “next Wednesday” they mean it literally and not the “next week on Wednesday” as it too often gets translated in my gringo brain.

Santiago Metro: the daily crush: There’s nothing earth-shattering here, but the picture’s worth a couple thousand words when it comes to  a snapshot of a crucial bit of the everyday lives of more than 2 million Santiaguinos.

San Lunes: Chile’s Stormy Monday: A personal favorite of playful writing on an age-old problem.

Language-themed posts & pages:

Language has proven to be a popular topic and over the year we have explored slang, false cognates, embarrassing bloopers and faux pas, popular expressions, and bi-lingual humor.

Glossary & Chilenismos : This list of Chilean vocabulary and expressions has grown over the year into a linguistic guide to speaking “Chilensis,” which surely has little to do with the Spanish you learned in school (or anywhere else, for that matter!)

Chilean Spanish Spoken Here: a Rooster from the Glue : A rollicking linguistic free-for-all started by Canadian comedian Eileen Shea that wreaks havoc on the languages and commits some serious linguistic abuse while engaging in inter-linguistic puns and nonsense for an entertaining look at Chilean slang.

Ya Pasamos Agosto: that most frightful and fateful month of the Chilean year prompted a long series of euphemistic bucket-kicking, farm-buying, daisy-pushing expressions.

Chilean Expression: Born with a Hardroll under the Arm: More odd-sounding expressions that make life and language more interesting.

False Cognates:

Beware those dangerous little words that seem so familiar but that can really trip you up if you aren’t careful! Here are a couple examples:

Cynical or Cínico: Think of the English definition while using the word in Spanish will get you into hot water. Be sure you know the difference!

Flirting with Frugal: Once again, those little language quirks play their tricks on words that seem to be the same but aren’t…

Readers’ favorites:

All things food related, especially anything to do with slapping something between 2 pieces of bread.

Sánguches: written by founding partner “El Viejo,” this is the all-time top Cachando Chile hit, with a good review of Chile’s truest comfort food.

Anthony Bourdain loves Lomitos: Foodie rockstar Bourdain made the front page of the local news when he was spotted chowing down one of Chile’s favorite sandwiches.

A Hot Dog is not a Completo:  As anyone who has ever been in Chile surely knows, the Chilean concept of a frankfurter on a bun has little to do with the good old mustard-smeared variety that is so popular in the US.

Cola de Mono: Who knew that this traditional cold hooch & milk Christmas punch would turn out to be such a hot topic? Curiously enough, it and its sister post with recipe (Cola de Mono: Chile’s true Christmas Spirit are quite a popular duo at Cachando Chile.

Most controversial posts:

When I first started blogging, a friend in the know told me that controversial topics make the best posts. I don’t normally go looking for trouble, but I did manage to stir up a bit here here and there bz pushing a few buttons here along the way.

Dogs are a topic all in themselves. I’ve posted about them three times this year and people’s opinions range from one extreme to the other, represented in It’s a Dog’s World and Quiltros & Hero Dogs.

May I Take Your Purse? Certainly stirred up a lot of opinions on cultural practices, trust, friendships, and even a bit of international debate.

Ways to Alienate a Chilean: This post breaks all records for the number of comments and number of participants in the conversation, as well as the broad range of opinions expressed. Phew! I never dreamed it would provoke such a response, and frankly I thought the discussion was very rewarding. I certainly hope to come up with more like this in the future!

Photo Essays:

When I began this blog a year ago, I had not planned on making photography a big part of it, although it is certainly one of my own greatest interests. That changed with time and photography gradualy found its place and greater space in Cachando Chile. Here are a few of my favorite photo essays:

Concón: Looking Good after 468 years, Part 1 and Concón: Looking Good after 468 years, Part 2: A chance encounter with a local anniversary celebration turned into 2 days of fun and photo op.

El Dieciocho: Chilean Independence Day: Chile takes its Independence Day celebrations very seriously. Here’s a look at a typical home celebration as well as a municipal to-do.

Parada Militar: Gotta Love a Parade: The day after Independence Day is Armed Forces Day, and the parade is a major event.

Ya Pasamos Agosto!

We made it through August… Let the fiesta begin!

Chileans—especially the older ones—have a thing about August, a kind of a wary-scary dread accompanied by the increasing mantra-like use of the expression “si pasamos agosto…” (if we get through August), followed by a clearly audible self-congratulatory sigh of relief come September 1st: ¡Ya Pasamos Agosto! We did it! YAY! We got through August!

August is the tail end of Chilean winter, and let me tell you that three long months of cold, damp, gray, and dreary, can really take its toll. Especially on the abuelitos, the older folks who have spent most of the past three months wrapped in bufandas (scarves) huddled up to a guatero (hot water bottle), and shivering beside the estufa (free-standing heater), avoiding drafts, keeping their feet warm, and basically trying not to get sick.

August is a rather neurotic month, and its schizoid flip-flopping between hot and cold, sun and rain, and brownish smog vs. the more preferable invisible-type O2 really wreak havoc on delicate respiratory systems and kick off a rash of bronchial and sinus infections, along with bad colds, which lead to pneumonia, which leads to the hospital, which leads to…. well, let’s just say that many older people fear it’s the end of the line, the last stop on the train, where they’ll buy the farm and kick the bucket…or in the finest Chileno: estirar la pata… irse al patio de los callados…parar la chala… poner la piyama de madera…dejar de existir…

(FYI and just for the record… I checked the statistics and found a report that showed that more adults actually die in May, June, and July.)

So clearly, pasar agosto is a big deal among the so-called “third agers” (the tercera edad, as it’s called here) and cause for celebration. A quick google check revealed a number of fiestas in senior centers and even an all-out bash at Los Buenos Muchachos (a very Chilean restaurant that’s big with groups and tourists) suggesting that families invite the senior generation to a big show tonight with 1980s singer Luis Dimas.

So, ¡Ya pue’ chiquillos!, ¡Ya pasamos Agosto!, which is also might convenient, because September just happens to be the national party month, time for Fiestas Patrias… a 2-day holiday that tends to turn into a month-long celebration of spring and independence…
¡Tiki-tiki-ti!

Today’s vocabulary:

All of the following expressions are typical ways of saying that someone has died. Please feel free to correct or add more!

estirar la pata (stretch out the foot or leg)

irse al patio de los calla’os (go to the patio with the ‘quiet ones’)

parar la chala (chalas are sandals, but parar can mean to stop or to stand up, so I come up with 2 different interpretations with the same effect: that the sandals stop walking or that they are bottoms up, meaning that the person is lying on their back)

poner la piyama de madera (put on the wooden pajamas–with reference to the coffin)

dejar de existir (stop existing… this is a very standard, formal way of referring to death–a favorite of newscasters–that has always given me chills… do we really stop ‘existing’ when we die? doesn’t memory count? is this too existential a question for a blog?)

Annje speaks Chilensis

Call it Spanglish, call it Spangli-shilean, call it Chilensis–what it is is the Spanish–excuse me–Castellano (I stand corrected!) that you hear on urban streets every day. It’s fast and fun and full of idiomatic expressions that no non-native-Chilensis-speaker could ever figure out on their own. I never dreamed that the recent post on the Rooster from the Glue would receive all the attention it has (see for yourself: Gringas die Laughing!), and I’ve been thrilled by all the response and contributions to the Glossary (which is going to take a while to get updated–now you know what I’LL be doing this weekend!)

Annje of (Annje Unabashed) is a frequent reader of Cachando Chile and she sent me her hilarious version of a little bad translation fun:

Annje says:
I can never resist the opportunity to play around with language, so to take up Margaret’s challenge, here goes my translation, with a brief introduction… better late than never.

When I first arrived in Chile, I thought I would be fine in terms of language. I had, after all, majored in Spanish and spent 4 whole months in Guayaquil, Ecuador. I was good to go… or so I thought. I quickly learned otherwise.

Not only is the Chilean accent fast, often with the mysterious disappearance of the last consonant, especially the “s,” but it is full of what you might call informal language. There are more slang expressions in “buen chilensis” than you can shake a stick at. Many of them defy direct translation: chamullento (teller of tall tales), achaplinarse (back out of something), or engrupir (win someone over with lies/smooth talk). You have to come up with an entire phrase in English (of course there are words in English that don’t translate well into Spanish either.)

There are also informal conjugations that no one ever mentioned in any Spanish class I took: Andai con plata? Qué querí? Qué tení? Qué mirai? It’s not vosotros… It’s not vos… What is it? I don’t know, but I love it, I love all of it.

I learned new “modismos” (slang) every day, but my intensive course came when I started hanging out with my “pololo’s” (BF) family. His sister, now my cuñada (sis-in-law), who is a brilliant child psychologist, is also the Queen of Slang. Not only is she on the cutting edge of newly-coined terminology, but she is also a master word-mixer herself, inventing terms and putting clever twists on common ones.

When I first met her, I didn’t even understand a “J” (no entendí ni jota = I didn’t understand anything). They all thought it was so funny because she would be telling a story and I would be sitting there dialing busy (marcando ocupado = with a blank look because of miscomprehension). She was my gauge of success: when I understood everything she said, I knew I was fluent in “Chilensis.”

This is a completely fabricated story in her honor. I think she would be proud!

This is what it would look like in direct translation:

We went out the other day with the skinny to take a few swallows and throw the size. The only can was that skinny’s boyfriend, who appears until the soup, arrives with a striped face and starts treating her like the lining because she hadn’t answered her phone.

The stupid big egg had already smoked a whistle and he put himself to suck like the condemned… he was totally cooked. He continues throwing her the seal, accusing her of putting the hat on him and of having black feet hidden over there who wanted to saw the floor from (under) him. Skinny told him nothing to see and that he was peeling cables. But the type grabbed skinny’s monkey tail and threw it against the wall. He left the broom—it was half a scandal. More on top, the broken, stick face left blown without paying. He did the dead dog… With Skinny we had to pay the bill with the broken glass and all that left salted. What an iron!

So, let’s see how close you were:

Salimos el otro día con la flaca a echar la talla y tomar unos tragos. La única lata fue que el pololo de la flaca, que aparece hasta en la sopa, llega con cara de rayado y el empieza a tratarla como el forro porque no había contestado el teléfono.

El huevón tonto ya se había fumado un pito y se puso a chupar como condenado… estaba totalmente cocido. Seguía echándole la foca, acusándola de ponerle el gorro, y de tener un patas negras escondido por ahí que quería aserrucharle el piso. La flaca le dijo que nada que ver, que estaba pelando cables. Pero el tipo agarró su cola de mono y la tiró contra la pared. Dejó la escoba– fue el medio escándalo.

Más encima, el roto cara de palo salió soplado sin pagar. ¡Hizo el perro muerto! Con la flaca tuvimos que pagar toda la cuenta con el vaso roto y todo que salió salado. ¡Qué plancha!

This is what it might look like in loose translation into normal English.

My friend and I went out the other day to have a few drinks and have fun chatting. The only bummer was that her boyfriend, who seems to follow her everywhere, shows up looking a little crazy and starts giving her a bad time because she hadn’t answered her phone.

The stupid jerk had already smoked a joint and then started downing drinks like it was going out of style… he got totally wasted. But he keeps chewing her out, accusing her of cheating on him, of having a lover hidden somewhere who wanted to take his place. She told him there was no way and that he had totally lost it. So the guy grabs her drink (Cola de mono is a little like Bailey’s) and throws it against the wall. He made a mess, it was a huge scandal.

Then on top of that, the shameless, low-class trash flew out of there without paying his bill. My friend and I had to cover the tab, even the broken glass, which was expensive. How embarrassing!

Disclaimer: this story is completely fictitious and is in no way characteristic of any of my real experiences in Chile and is not meant to insinuate, imply, or suggest that Chilean men are violently jealous drunken potheads.

Annje lived in Chile for almost 4 years and has been married to a Chilean for 8 years. They are raising two little Gringo-Chileans in Texas where she is completing a Ph.D. They are planning to return to Chile when she finishes (which will be “soon” OK!)

Chilean Spanglish Spoken Here: A Rooster from the Glue

Spanglish is a funny language. Spend enough time here in Chile and you end up pretty fluent in the Chilean variant, which I call Spangli-shilean!! (Get it?) See? Right there you need to be on the inside track to cachar la onda…

At our most recent Chilespouses dinner, our resident comedian Eileen Shea had the Spanglishilean speakers roaring with laughter—and many of the newcomers scratching their heads—with a story about a guy from work.

I asked her if I could post it here at Cachando Chile, and we ended up getting our chuckles while playing linguistic ping-pong with it for a few days until we finally came up with this version. Test your own level of Spanglishilean (and have a little bad translation fun) with this doozy:

****************

There’s a rooster of the glue who told me his worse-is-nothing had improved herself and brought a baron to light at 3 in the morning.

The uncle said his creature may not have arrived with a hard roll under the arm, but he waits he was born standing up, like he was. What it will be, always that he doesn’t convert to a bad duck or a spear. He hopes he will finish at least his medium learning and perhaps make himself a frog, like his co-father, helping the microphone operators who drive like testicles.

The wedding was very happy they had a man for the end, since they already had 3 women. His wife doesn’t have any hair on her tongue and said that now that they have a man, she’s going to close the factory and go back to selling broken underpants on the microphones in the center of James, where they live in their half water.

Maybe it was big-footed of my part, but I asked the crazy man what wave, and he said his half orange and the snotty were passing it pig. I’m going to take her some cardinals—they enchant me because they are meat dog.

****************

So, how’d you do? ¿Lo cachaste al tiro? Congratulations!
Consider yourself a fluent Spanglishilean speaker (I dare you to put that on your resume!).

Didn’t quite get that? Don’t worry… take a deep breath, and let’s walk through this together.

If you speak Spanish, take a moment to translate it and see what you come up with. Los que hablan chilensis lo cacharán rapidito…

If you don’t speak Spanish, feel free to just skip down to the end for a Spanglishilean to English translation… the rest of us will catch up later.

OK, Spanish speakers… Got that translation ready? Is it making sense now? No? Looks like you’re not up to speed on your Chilean!

Try this:

Hay un gallo de la pega que me dijo que su peor es nada se había mejorado y dio luz a un varón a las 3 de la mañana.

El tío dijo que capaz que su criatura no haya llegado con la marraqueta bajo el brazo, pero espera que haya nacido tan parado como él. Lo que sea, siempre que no se convierta en un pato malo o un lanza. Espera que termine por lo menos su enseñanza media y quizás hacerse sapo, como su compadre, ayudando a los micreros que manejan como pelotas.

El matrimonio estaba muy feliz por haber tenido un hombre por fin, porque ya tenían 3 mujeres. Su mujer no tiene pelos en la lengua y dijo que ahora que tenían un hombre, iba a cerrar la fábrica y volver a vender calzones rotos en las micros en el centro de Santiago, donde viven en su media agua.

Quizás fui patuda de mi parte, pero pregunté al loco qué onda y me dijo que su media naranja y el mocoso estaban pasándolo chancho. Le voy a llevar unos cardenales; me encantan porque son carne perro.

Huh? You speak Spanish and you still didn’t get it? This, dear friends, is pure Chilensis.

Need an interpreter? Let’s go!

Some of these terms are regular Spanish, others are pure Chilean:

Gallo (rooster) = a guy

La pega (the glue) = work

Peor es nada (worse is nothing) = wife, in this case, but also used for husband

Mejorarse (improve oneself) = literally, to get better, though here, to have a baby

Dar luz (give light) = to give birth

Varón (baron) = man (Chileans use this term for a baby boy) Note: varón is not really baron, but since v and b are pronounced the same, it sounds the same.

Tío (uncle) = guy

Criatura (creature) = baby, child

Nacer con la marraqueta bajo el brazo (to be born with a hard roll under the arm) = to be born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth or to bring luck to the family

Nacer parado (to be born standing up) = to be lucky, born under a lucky star

Pato malo (bad duck) = hoodlum, thug

Lanza (spear) = pick-pocket or purse-snatcher type thief

Enseñanza media (medium learning) = high school

Sapo (frog) = person who lets the bus drivers know when the last bus along their route passed. They get the name from jumping on and off the buses all day.

Compadre (co-father) = literally god-father to your child, but often used to refer to a close friend

Micrero (microphone operator) = bus driver

Manejar como pelotas (drive like testicles) = to drive badly. To do something “como pelotas” is to do it badly.

Matrimonio (wedding) = a married couple. In Spain a wedding is a boda, but in Chile the term matrimonio refers to the ceremony as well as the couple.

Tener un hombre (have a man) = have a boy / son

Tener 3 mujeres (have 3 women) = have 3 girls / daughters

No tiene pelos en la lengua (doesn’t have hair on her tongue) = to be outspoken

Cerrar la fábrica (close the factory) = stop having babies

Calzones rotos (broken underpants) = typical Chilean fried dough pastry

Las micros (the microphones) = the buses (for some reason “micro” uses the feminine article la)

Santiago (James) = San Santiago in Spanish is Saint James in English

Media agua (half water) = a very basic, simple house

Ser patuda (big-footed) = to be overly forward, cross the line, push the limits

Loco (crazy man) = guy

Qué onda (what wave) = what’s up

Media naranja (half orange) = wife (or husband), like referring to one’s “better half”

Mocoso (snotty) = kid, young child (like saying “rugrat”)

Pasarlo chancho (pass it pig) = have a good time

Cardenales (cardinals) = carnations

Carne perro (meat dog) = this should really be carne de perro, but the “de” usually gets dropped out when spoken. It generally means tough, resistant, impossible to kill. In this specific case, flowers that are easy to grow.

(You can see more terms like these in the Cachando Chile Glossary).

Got that? Want a real translation now? How’s this:

There’s a guy from work who told me his wife had had a baby boy at 3 in the morning.

The guy said his son may not have been born wealthy, but he hopes he’s as lucky as he is. Whatever, as long as he doesn’t turn into a hoodlum or a pick-pocket. He hopes he will at least finish high school and maybe become a bus assistant, like his buddy who helps the bus drivers, who drive like idiots.

The couple was very happy that they had finally had a boy, because they already had 3 girls. His wife is really outspoken and said that now that they had a son, she was going to stop having kids and go back to work selling pastries on the buses in downtown Santiago, where they live in their little house.

Maybe I was out of line, but I asked the guy what was up, and he said both his wife and the rug-rat were having a great time. I’m going to take her some carnations—I love them because they last so long.

Many thanks to Eileen Shea for coming up with this great word game and letting me play too!

If you enjoyed this, take a wander over to see what Abby’s been up to (More word games on Abby’s Line).

And be sure to have a look at what Eileen at Bearshapedsphere  has to say about “Dead men knocking at the door.“

Annje also takes the bait. Check her story out at “Annje Speaks Chilensis.”

Anyone else want to try? This could make for a great group blog… give it a shot, post to your blog, and let me know so we can cross link!

Update:  Also see the related  “Gringas die Laughing” post to see the reaction to this one!